A long Time.....

It  has been a very long time since I have written on this blog.  Not sure if anyone ever pops by it or not.  But that is okay.  I don't always blog for others.  I blog for other reasons.  If someone comes by and is encouraged well, Praise the Lord!

I guess life got busy and this blog was neglected.  Not to mention, I started to think of myself as a failure.  How easy it is to get blinded....how Satan just loves to gain victory.  Yes, he knows how to bring me down.  Hit me with my offspring and I go down.  

When I look at the date of my last post...almost four years ago...I remember the low place I was at during that time.  It was not my lowest point, but low indeed.  I had so much on my plate, that if one more thing was added I would surely break.  So I did what I should not have done...built myself a wall to support me.  Or at least that is what I thought at the time.  

I started playing the blame game...but I was the one I always was blaming.  I mean, really, I am the keeper of the home, the home educator, if something or someone went wrong it had to be my fault.  I am the one who is always home, twenty-four/seven.  Boy...Satan loved where he had me.

Over the next several months things started to spiral downward...I knew we needed a break from some things we were doing.  We, I, needed to readjust...we, I, were dry  spiritually.  We took a step of faith for five weeks of letting go of some things so we could be nourished.  Little did we know that we were in for a journey.

That journey came with a price, but it has been worth it.  My warriors and maidens have grown in the process of it...but some have turned from the journey we set out on.  I want to blame myself....if I would have done this or that different...but I have been reminded that we have choices...our choices come with consequences...good and bad.  We are not cookies cut from the exact same cookie cutter.  Do I wish my warriors and maidens were all like me...NO!  I am probably the biggest goof up of all!

When the day comes to an end, I can honestly say that I had done my best to raise my offspring for the Lord and teach them His ways.  They are responsible for what they do with the teaching.  Most are adults...(ten of the fourteen are adults!!!  Wow!  When did that happen??)  I am not on this raising journey alone...I have a wonderful hubby of almost 35 years that has been the leader of our home.  I am writing this from my side.

I came across a quote that I had written down in my "quote" notebook;

"Homegrown children take a lot of hard work and sometimes 'it ain't pretty'.  Other times its breathtaking." 

I have no idea where that quote came from...but it was a quote I needed to revisit.  

So, to the hard work, the 'ain't pretty', and the breathtaking of raising warriors and maidens, "Lord, keep me humble and teachable".